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One of those 'yes, _exactly_' replies I get from time to time to posts of mine felt like something I should post. So, with permission, I am.
In reply to my life lessons write-up post,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
opalmirror said:
"For me, discovering all these things required I not be in a primary relationship, because a primary relationship implied a level of entwinement that made it impossible for me to sort out who I am, coupled with a level of stress about partner happiness that compromised my ability to find energy to work on understanding myself."
Uh, yeah. Most of those life lessons I posted? They were things I realized within the last couple years, mostly during the time I was very intentionally avoiding serious-type relationships. I truly don't know if I could have figured them out while in one, but I _do_ know it was _significantly_ easier to do without such an attachment to anyone. I needed that time, when the only person I was responsible was to myself (and my cat). As well, having that time made it much easier for me to know who I was outside of major interpersonal entanglements, and therefore figure out what I needed while _in_ them. (of course, the 'what I needed while in them' part was/is mostly theoretical. We shall see. ;)
Anyway. That comment felt like something I very much needed to post.
In reply to my life lessons write-up post,
opalmirror said:"For me, discovering all these things required I not be in a primary relationship, because a primary relationship implied a level of entwinement that made it impossible for me to sort out who I am, coupled with a level of stress about partner happiness that compromised my ability to find energy to work on understanding myself."
Uh, yeah. Most of those life lessons I posted? They were things I realized within the last couple years, mostly during the time I was very intentionally avoiding serious-type relationships. I truly don't know if I could have figured them out while in one, but I _do_ know it was _significantly_ easier to do without such an attachment to anyone. I needed that time, when the only person I was responsible was to myself (and my cat). As well, having that time made it much easier for me to know who I was outside of major interpersonal entanglements, and therefore figure out what I needed while _in_ them. (of course, the 'what I needed while in them' part was/is mostly theoretical. We shall see. ;)
Anyway. That comment felt like something I very much needed to post.