wispfox | (no subject)

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So, some of you may be aware of the fact that being given flowers is not a happy thing for me. They die. Quickly. Hello, what's with giving people dead things as gifts?! (except if it's food...)

Delightful link along these lines, here. Credit to

ladytabitha for finding it. :)

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Right. Someone gives you dead things?

Here, have a casserole!

For me, the fact that they die is why I like getting them. They're a transient, momentary present with no purpose other than my pleasure.

Like an orgasm. :)

Huh! Eeeenteresting.

Feels wrong (to me, mind) to have anything which was once alive (or, perhaps, still is - sorta hard to say when precisely plants die...) be killed simply for one's pleasure.

Thank you for saying that. It's my thoughts on the matter exactly. I remember as a child being bothered by others picking wild flowers - it made me feel sad that they were killing something beautiful because it was beautiful.

Yeah. Although, in some cases, taking off *just* the blossom only means that the plant will grow a new one. (I think pansies do this) Still...

I likewise feel a bit uncomfortable about x-mas trees. However, this tradition has been so important to the people that I've been with in the past that I've kept doing it, despite my bad "kill-a-tree-that-we're-going-to-keep-up-for-two-or-three-weeks-tops" feelings.

Interestingly, I don't think I'd have a problem chopping down a tree for, say, firewood - assuming I actually needed firewood. Likewise, pulling up plants to eat them doesn't bother me either. I guess killing plants for practical reasons doesn't bother me.

Why not a fake Xmas tree? Or one that's small enough to keep around all the time, in a pot?

Yeah, I've suggested such things; I've dated traditionally minded people (at least in this particular regard) who really enjoy their annual tree sacrifice.

Hrmmm... I guess this should be a question that I ask potential partners from here on out.

"Live Christmas trees only, eh? Yeah, I don't think this is going to work out."

Heh. Who knew that differences in Christmas tree tastes were the real reason that my past relationships didn't work out? Certainly not me.

"Live Christmas trees only, eh? Yeah, I don't think this is going to work out."

You could always claim allergy... ;)

Yeah, but I'd rather claim that "The trees spoke to me; cutting them down makes them sad." I'm absolutely certain that this method will screen out the "women I shouldn't be dating" (read: sane) from the good ones.

Heh! Yes, that works too. I was thinking along the lines of allergy to killing trees, but hey. ;)

Yeah, I can see your point. I guess I'm just not that sensitive about it. Kinda like mowing the grass, to me. I probably should be less "I'm the human, die!" about it, but alas.

*chuckles* "I'm the human, die!" amused me. I'm not sure why.

Interestingly, mowing grass does _not_ bother me. Perhaps because it's got this crazy complicated root structure?

Dunno. If flowers were ones that I was fairly sure were removed in a way similar to pruning, I'd probably be fine with it. Still wouldn't _want_ them, but it'd bother me less.

Question: Does it make a difference to you if the flowers were originally planted for the purpose of being cut? Or is that too godlike in the assumption? I gave you life, and I can take it? If they would never have existed at all without the destined early death, does it change the morality?

I've now taken this all out of proportion, but I'm curious.

Right! Flowers are the sexual organs of plants, and unlike on most animals, if you cut them off more can grow from the same plant. They'd also wither and die on the plant, too.

I can't quite get myself into a mindset where perennials grown in humane and respectful environments are less objectionable sources of cut flowers, since I don't have similar feelings about food (fruit is in a similar category as flowers, even).

On the other hand, the symbolism is probably all that matters, and if you see them as the hacked off sexual organs of a living thing, which will then _wither and die_, then they are disturbing!

On the other hand, the symbolism is probably all that matters, and if you see them as the hacked off sexual organs of a living thing, which will then _wither and die_, then they are disturbing!

Yes. Quite.

Existing solely for being killed does not help my feeling on the matter. Probably because of the fact that it's just so disturbing keeping something around while it's dying just because it was (is) pretty.

That said - if it were _just_ the blossom which were removed from the plant, and not much more, the removal would bother me less (I would still not want them give to _me_, mind). Because the flower will die anyway, removed or not removed.

But rarely is it just the blossom, and in some cases picking a flower is, in effect, killing the entire plant. In many more cases, it does _not_ kill it, mind.

*shrug* I'm just strange, I know. :)

"I'm the human, die!"

Now that is totally T-shirt/bumper sticker material.

I'll try to remember that, and make sure to give you the roots and some dirt around them if I ever give you flowers. :-)

*chuckles* That works, but I tend to forget about plants and kill them. Thus why I mostly only have desert plants.

ahh, you're the first to feel the same way about flowers that i do! of course my tendency is to speak my mind about them as soon as the guy hands them to me. a definitely selfish no no move on my part.

Why is that a no no move? I do it. Hell, I do it _before_ people are likely to form that impulse relating to me.

just courtesy and appreciation for the guy who was trying to do something nice. :p it would've been different had i told them my preference ahead of time (or if they had the power to read my mind), but if you have someone trying to show their heart on their sleeve with the presentation of flowers, it's a bitch slap to their face for you to sit there and calmly state how you hate flowers aka the gift SUCKED.

Why?

You can indicate appreciation for the thought, and then explain that you don't like the specific gesture, and why. No?

not everyone can take constructive criticism well. maybe you're confused as to how blunt truth could be possibly negative, b/c i'm speaking from a personal experience that i did not bring up. in my case, the guy sunk into a terrible depression over it, which then converted to resentment and anger against me. the guy had his issues (narcissistic personality disorder), i'm just saying it's not always wise to to assume that everyone is "normal."

maybe you're confused as to how blunt truth could be possibly negative

No...

I just assume sanity on other people's part unless proven wrong, and tend to avoid those who prove me wrong. And, if someone takes things the wrong way when what I said would not bother most sane people, I refuse to think it's my concern.

How do you feel about being given seeds, then?

(deleted comment)

Let's try that again...

Seeds, good. They (generally) grow into something, with appropriate measures, and are _intended_ to be separated from the parent plant.

(Of course, I have trouble remembering to water plants, and have not enough space with sufficient sunlight, so plants I own don't always _survive_. Thus, desert plants. ;)

I love getting flowers! :) I enjoy them so much while they're in my home and I take pictures to memorialize them.

I have some pussywillows now that have sprouted and are growing roots in their water, so I'm thinking about planting them someplace nearby.

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