[words] Because now I'm curious...

[wispfox]

Define 'alien', if you would?

Mine, from an attempt at explaining it in a comment from previous previous post:

The behaviors of the people who surrounded me generally made no sense, for most of my life. I was missing the nonverbal portion of communication, and most of the apparently 'obvious' things that most people pick up on.

So, being surrounded by beings whose behavior made no sense, and who mostly had _NO_ idea why I was so very confused, when my confusion made perfect sense to me, made me decide at a very young age that I wasn't actually human, and ended up on the wrong planet (this was probably after I started reading science fiction). Especially since them not understanding why I was confused tended to mean that most people didn't try to explain anything to me.

Most of my life, I spent people-watching, in an attempt to understand what the _hell_ was going on. Anthropological studies, if I had only known it at the time. That helped, some, but people with good skills in such taking the time to try to explain body language and tone and such - so I had a basis from which to try to start to understand such things - made the biggest difference.

In other words, I had to be taught how to speak the most prevalent language of human beings, because I did _not_ pick it up on my own. Ok, I got more than nothing; really dramatic stuff got through. But I never understood why people were so upset with me for not understanding what was going on before then.

--

I note that being different from others is _NOT_ what I mean by alien.

I mean... not being able to comprehend why other people do what they do, for most of my life. _All_ other people, and at least until I started collecting enough data to see patterns, pretty much all non-basic needs behaviors. Family, friends, no one made sense. Some were just kind/aware enough to try to explain things to me. That information - combined with those who tried to explain body language and such - helped with my anthropological attempts.

I mean having (figuratively) beat my head against walls and acted like an anthropologist in order to try to figure things out. I mean having made the poor choice of trying to pretend to be like the other humans, in order to possibly get a better idea of what the hell was going on (not that it worked, but it did mean I still find bits of that remaining in my psyche to pick out again).

It's not 'feeling different'. It's 'you people don't make _SENSE_, this can't really be where I'm from!'.

Not that I have any idea if this is going to be something that is explainable to someone who hasn't experienced it, now that I think about it...

Comments

[wurmwyd.livejournal.com]

Hi There!

I guess I'm pretty much the opposite of that, then. I understand what people say and do perfectly. It's when I try to figure out exactly WHY people do things that I feel like an alien. There are so many things that humans do, and of course they make sense because "That's the way we've ALWAYS done it". But then when I think about these things, they all just seem so ... ridiculous.

Why do we only have "breakfast foods" at breakfast-time? My tummy isn't READY for eggs, sausage, bacon, and hash browns that early! Why can't we serve those foods at night-time?

Why do we still keep daylight savings time?

Don't even get me started on love and sex.

I guess these things are why I feel alien sometimes. You're right, it's not quite the same as you. And I guess I just feel "different". But I seperate it in my mind from just being "weird". I feel "apart" sometimes.

[shrugs] Does that make any sense?

[aussie-nyc.livejournal.com]

I feel the other way round. I can make sense of people, but I have the clear and distinct feeling that my way of thinking doesn't make sense to anyone else. That's a lot stronger than just feeling different, but not at all what you describe.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

I suppose I actually answered the question, "do you sometimes imagine what it would be like to be an alien socialized on earth?", to which the answer is "totally!".

[wcg.livejournal.com]

From m-w.com:

Main Entry: 1alien
Pronunciation: 'A-lE-&n, 'Al-y&n
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French, from Latin alienus, from alius
1 a : belonging or relating to another person, place, or thing : STRANGE b : relating, belonging, or owing allegiance to another country or government : FOREIGN
2 : differing in nature or character typically to the point of incompatibility

When I say that I've often felt like an alien throughout my life, it's that 1b thing above: Feeling foreign, different, outside of the cultural norm. Not so much a 'space alien' as a person whose cultural socialization doesn't quite match that of the people I dwell among.

[eisa.livejournal.com]

With me, it was always "OK, you make sense..... but I don't work even remotely like that, and you don't seem to get me one bit."

[ian-gunn.livejournal.com]

Ah, I come at it from a slightly different direction. I'm somewhere on the other side of the dividing line between Autism Spectrum and Neuro Typical from you. My early childhood was similarly filled with incomprehension of other children's actions but I was able to learn body language earlier then you. I learned it and other social skills a lot later then most children did which pegged me as a social outcast in school and that did not change till sometime in high school, and then only in a small way. I also acted as an observer of humans and their social interactions. Social anthropology is a fun topic. If I were good at picking up languages I might have done that instead of physics. It was not till college that I felt at all skilled in normal social interactions. My experiences I believe matches that of many "geeks and science nerds". :) It was a painful childhood in some ways but I would not trade my logic and math skill for all the popularity in the world. *grin*

[ruth-lawrence.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.

I don't have this kind of alien-feeling, but I have little or no understanding of people hwo live very conventional lives, especially those who think right-wing politicians are kewl.

My construction of human existence is at an utter disconnect with theirs, as far as I can tell.

Most things that excite me pass them by, and vice versa.

I doubt this is what you meant...

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

I actually do a decent job of understanding people, but that understanding is purely intellectual. "It would never occur to me to do X because of Y, but I know that it's the reason that everyone around me does it, and I can sorta figure out how the mental connection between X and Y may have evolved, even if it's completely non-intuitive to me." So nowadays I feel like a reasonably well-acclimated alien who can for a while pass if need be, but there's still the overwhelming sensation of "damn, people are a weird, weird bunch".

Also, I get a fair bit of "most people don't understand my brain-OS, and things that are logical to me aren't to most others".

[ladytabitha.livejournal.com]

Did I reply in here for this?  It's been sitting in my head for ages now.

I don't have this.  I can usually figure out why people act the way they do, due to having a strong need for things to make sense.  That doesn't stop me from staaaring at them - there's a difference between "Why did you do that?" and "Why did you do that?!?" - but usually I can figure it out.

I do know I practiced having facial expressions while I was younger.  How does my smile look, what does it convey, etc.  I still do that on occasion.

And sometimes, certain things make no sense to me, and it takes me ages to figure them out.  Such as facial expressions when one isn't interacting.  I finally sussed this out - people have their On face, when they're interacting with others, and their Off face, when they're not.  I apparently default strongly to Off, which'd explain why so many people think I'm annoyed.  *snort*

Now.  Stop writing viral posts, already!