always worry that no one else is interested in hearing about me going on and on with this, so I tend to keep these things internal
I tend to, early on. But it is _very_ difficult for me to get beyond certain points in my thoughts about new things without having someone to talk to about whatever it is. Better yet if they are actively interested, but even people who don't mind me babbling are good (my poor roommate, for example). And this is part of why I _so_ appreciate LJ. I can talk, babble, whatever - and _not_ bug people who don't have an active interest in what I want to say.
So what you are trying to say is that you are me, is that it?
*laugh* No, not at all! :)
I don't know that I see potential. I only see... dissonance. And, when I am listening intently, whatever it is that most needs to be shared _right now_.
A recent example was a friend talking to me about not wanting to stay in her current career, and not being entirely sure what's next. During the course of the conversation, something kept pinging my brain, until I finally realized that teaching what it was that she had for a current career (10 years worth of knowledge) felt like a really good idea. Which I said.
I have gotten very good at being able to tell how much help is worthwhile, and at what points I'm only draining myself needlessly. I don't know how I do this. Perhaps by having a better sense of myself?
where everything seemed like it was in burning ruins all about me
Yes. Change often feels like that to me, as well. And, _even in the midst of it_, I can often still tell that... it's needed. And that, at least eventually, I'll get through it. I think this might be part of why I associate fire with change.
you'll get to have this moment of discovery and clarity over and over again, through your growth in life, and with each time, you feel a bit closer to "it"
I know. I have, already, many times. I did, however, formerly make the mistake of thinking that, because I was much closer, I did not need to continue to have a close eye to my internal state. Which meant that I kept losing track of things until they exploded in my face. I somehow got the impression I was 'done' for a while, rather than on a journey. I don't know where I got that from, and I think I've finally _stopped_ that!
no subject
I tend to, early on. But it is _very_ difficult for me to get beyond certain points in my thoughts about new things without having someone to talk to about whatever it is. Better yet if they are actively interested, but even people who don't mind me babbling are good (my poor roommate, for example). And this is part of why I _so_ appreciate LJ. I can talk, babble, whatever - and _not_ bug people who don't have an active interest in what I want to say.
So what you are trying to say is that you are me, is that it?
*laugh* No, not at all! :)
I don't know that I see potential. I only see... dissonance. And, when I am listening intently, whatever it is that most needs to be shared _right now_.
A recent example was a friend talking to me about not wanting to stay in her current career, and not being entirely sure what's next. During the course of the conversation, something kept pinging my brain, until I finally realized that teaching what it was that she had for a current career (10 years worth of knowledge) felt like a really good idea. Which I said.
I have gotten very good at being able to tell how much help is worthwhile, and at what points I'm only draining myself needlessly. I don't know how I do this. Perhaps by having a better sense of myself?
where everything seemed like it was in burning ruins all about me
Yes. Change often feels like that to me, as well. And, _even in the midst of it_, I can often still tell that... it's needed. And that, at least eventually, I'll get through it. I think this might be part of why I associate fire with change.
you'll get to have this moment of discovery and clarity over and over again, through your growth in life, and with each time, you feel a bit closer to "it"
I know. I have, already, many times. I did, however, formerly make the mistake of thinking that, because I was much closer, I did not need to continue to have a close eye to my internal state. Which meant that I kept losing track of things until they exploded in my face. I somehow got the impression I was 'done' for a while, rather than on a journey. I don't know where I got that from, and I think I've finally _stopped_ that!