wispfox: (Default)
I do not get enough cuddling in my life. Currently, it's basically only [livejournal.com profile] metahacker. [livejournal.com profile] jasra and I are working on it, on our end. The fact that I will tend to forget to be cuddly with people if I've not been doing enough cuddling does not help.

One of the best things about the wedding I just attended was feeling comfortable saying to a couple of women I had just met that I would like to be cuddling them. And then, we did so. One was more comfortable with cuddling than the other, I suspect due purely to experience with it. But. Cuddles. Cuddles with no purpose beyond simple touch.

Also, fabulous dog whose purpose in life is to be cuddly (literally, that's what she's being trained for). :)

I really, really miss contexts in which the cultural norm of 'touch must be sexual or at least have a sexual overtone' has been subverted. I mean, I don't tend to be cuddly with people if I'm not attracted to them somehow or another ("attracted" as in "drawn to" or "fascinated by" or "want to know better" - no specific goal beyond that), but it feels like a world of difference between "hey, you're nifty" and "My only purpose for touching you is because I want to get into your pants at the earliest possible opportunity". The attendees at this weekend's wedding, thankfully basically free of that cultural norm. So, I actually let hugs last as long as they would naturally do so. And didn't feel uncomfortable at random back massages as part of hugs (and indeed gave such as part of hugs myself). I am not trying to suggest that there was no interest, just that it wasn't the point of the touch.

I'm also _utterly_ delighted by the fact that, unlike usual, one of the women there was first to suggest the idea of trading contact information. It can get very, very tiring to always be the one asking for more interaction with interesting women, y'know? (I'm typically not as drawn to lengthen interactions with men, and the fact that I'm acutely aware of not dating any women appears to only have increased this trend more toward finding women more interesting) I think the last woman who was first to suggest more interactions (or perhaps mutual of said) after our first interaction was [livejournal.com profile] jasra. (and before that was [livejournal.com profile] the_xtina)

I can never tell if that's because they are shy to suggest more interaction, there is not sufficiently strong mutual fascination, or what. And I often feel like I come on too strong when I find someone fascinating, which rarely helps when interacting with a woman.
wispfox: (Default)
Even though I fail to be able to summarize today...

Feminist stuff.

various

May. 29th, 2009 11:15 am
wispfox: (Default)
once escorted. Go read it.

Am suspecting that two ativan at night, while permitting me to fall asleep faster (assuming stress doesn't override them) also causes me to have much trouble getting up in the morning and being drowsy all day. Not really a fan, so back to one and taking longer to fall asleep. So far, so good.

I would like it to be a little less easy for me to get into states where I'm not functional due to stress or overwhelmedness or whatever. So, after much conversation with [livejournal.com profile] metahacker, I shall be investigating having a therp (therp! Therp! Therp! [livejournal.com profile] the_xtina, I blame you) to try to work on things which are non-urgent (my entire experience with mental health professionals up until now has been for urgent stuff). I am not really sure how I feel about this.

Starting to investigate application processes for grad school, to be ordering transcripts once I'm home and have envelopes and my checkbook and such. Am vaguely annoyed that the earliest application deadline place does not yet have available the electronic application for next year, and that one of my application places requires that you do the entire electronic application in a single setting. Ah, well.

Soon, I shall need to start taking a stab at various personal statement things. That'll be weird! I don't recall my undergrad application at all, although I'm sure I had similar things to do then.

I've two people from my two last classes at UML as potential recommenders (one would prefer not, as he did not have much interaction with me and it was entirely online, but at least one of the schools wants two in academia, and another wherever), and two boss/co-worker-type people. So I should be good on recommendations.

Settling better into new location. I always seem to forget how hard moving is on me. Which is probably good, or I might try to never move again, and usually there is good reason to do so, when I do!
wispfox: (happy)
Creme brule ice cream: cold, interesting, and OMG sweet.

Having had [livejournal.com profile] galaneia and [livejournal.com profile] metahacker recall my perhaps excessive fondness for creme brule's crackly goodness and obtain ice cream based on that? Utterly, utterly charming.

Can has my _own_ miniatures to practice painting on.

My family appears to be invading Facebook. I am... perplexed!

I can has room dimensions with which to play!

Because being overly tired, loopy, and giggly is the _best_ time to remember to call my sister. :) (awwwwww voicemail!)

There is an unexpected [livejournal.com profile] jasra!

For some reason, "photos and bananas" is making me giggly. I have noooo idea. Blame [livejournal.com profile] the_xtina's post.

Ok, off to play with online room dimensions tools.
wispfox: (happy)
Creme brule ice cream: cold, interesting, and OMG sweet.

Having had [livejournal.com profile] galaneia and [livejournal.com profile] metahacker recall my perhaps excessive fondness for creme brule's crackly goodness and obtain ice cream based on that? Utterly, utterly charming.

Can has my _own_ miniatures to practice painting on.

My family appears to be invading Facebook. I am... perplexed!

I can has room dimensions with which to play!

Because being overly tired, loopy, and giggly is the _best_ time to remember to call my sister. :) (awwwwww voicemail!)

There is an unexpected [livejournal.com profile] jasra!

For some reason, "photos and bananas" is making me giggly. I have noooo idea. Blame [livejournal.com profile] the_xtina's post.

Ok, off to play with online room dimensions tools.

Arisia

Jan. 22nd, 2008 11:14 am
wispfox: (my hat is fuzzy!)
I can, indeed, switch my brain into a state where I can be intensely social for long periods of time. But it requires me to not need to keep track of time, makes me _very_ flighty (counteracted by being cuddled), not great at self care, and makes non-highly-social activities not things I want to be doing (so I made it to no panels at all, and played very few games). It also requires that I have people I am utterly comfortable with clinging to/cuddling with reasonably easily available. It also makes me _way_ less good at being aware that I am not seeing as much of people as I might like, if I'm seeing them at all and I _am_ getting time with comfortably cuddly people. It also means that I start getting less able to handle touch from those I'm not as comfortable with. And starts meaning my impulse control goes away (although that may have been insufficient sleep).

I have done this before (when I met [livejournal.com profile] the_xtina and [livejournal.com profile] cos, and went to the housewarming where I knew no one), but it's been a long time, and I didn't really understand then how to make it last without huge cost. Now I have more data. :)

So! Arisia mathmatics:

cutting is kind )

Arisia

Jan. 22nd, 2008 11:14 am
wispfox: (my hat is fuzzy!)
I can, indeed, switch my brain into a state where I can be intensely social for long periods of time. But it requires me to not need to keep track of time, makes me _very_ flighty (counteracted by being cuddled), not great at self care, and makes non-highly-social activities not things I want to be doing (so I made it to no panels at all, and played very few games). It also requires that I have people I am utterly comfortable with clinging to/cuddling with reasonably easily available. It also makes me _way_ less good at being aware that I am not seeing as much of people as I might like, if I'm seeing them at all and I _am_ getting time with comfortably cuddly people. It also means that I start getting less able to handle touch from those I'm not as comfortable with. And starts meaning my impulse control goes away (although that may have been insufficient sleep).

I have done this before (when I met [livejournal.com profile] the_xtina and [livejournal.com profile] cos, and went to the housewarming where I knew no one), but it's been a long time, and I didn't really understand then how to make it last without huge cost. Now I have more data. :)

So! Arisia mathmatics:

cutting is kind )
wispfox: (happy)
Y'know... I'm really damn lucky.

I have the world's bestest roommate (really, any other roommate(s) have one hell of a set of shoes to fill), who I barely knew when she came to live with me. And yet, it worked out well, even when my wrists got stupid at me and she suddenly had a bunch of extra things to do because I could no longer do them.

World's purryest cat. And sufficiently _unlike_ Ash that I rarely have attacks of 'but you're not _my_ cat!'.

I have a job that, while it is part of the problem with my wrists, also understands the problem (possibly better than most medical professionals. Sigh) and works with me around it. And I'm improving. And I make enough money that I can _afford_ the various things that allow me to keep working and also improving.

I have many, many wonderful people in my life, even though some of them are far away and I don't see them often. I am loved, and understood far better than I'd ever have expected to be possible.

I am living in a time when it's _possible_ for me to have met all these people (all? of them I met through the internet, one way or another), to not be completely debilitated by my brain brokennesses, and indeed to have some of those brokennesses actively useful for my job. Where my difficulty with spoken communication can be worked around, and improved upon. Where being born 12 weeks early was not a death sentence. Where I could figure out various of the ways in which I am unusual by finding others similarly unusual online in email lists and newsgroups and such, and discussing things with them. Where I could get my first degree-related job while still _in_ school, because I was involved with a linux users group and friends from there happened to work at a place that was hiring.

Yeah. I? Am damn lucky. And sometimes it's nice to point that out. Perhaps especially when I'm underslept and stressed from work and the insufficiency of direct light.
wispfox: (happy)
Y'know... I'm really damn lucky.

I have the world's bestest roommate (really, any other roommate(s) have one hell of a set of shoes to fill), who I barely knew when she came to live with me. And yet, it worked out well, even when my wrists got stupid at me and she suddenly had a bunch of extra things to do because I could no longer do them.

World's purryest cat. And sufficiently _unlike_ Ash that I rarely have attacks of 'but you're not _my_ cat!'.

I have a job that, while it is part of the problem with my wrists, also understands the problem (possibly better than most medical professionals. Sigh) and works with me around it. And I'm improving. And I make enough money that I can _afford_ the various things that allow me to keep working and also improving.

I have many, many wonderful people in my life, even though some of them are far away and I don't see them often. I am loved, and understood far better than I'd ever have expected to be possible.

I am living in a time when it's _possible_ for me to have met all these people (all? of them I met through the internet, one way or another), to not be completely debilitated by my brain brokennesses, and indeed to have some of those brokennesses actively useful for my job. Where my difficulty with spoken communication can be worked around, and improved upon. Where being born 12 weeks early was not a death sentence. Where I could figure out various of the ways in which I am unusual by finding others similarly unusual online in email lists and newsgroups and such, and discussing things with them. Where I could get my first degree-related job while still _in_ school, because I was involved with a linux users group and friends from there happened to work at a place that was hiring.

Yeah. I? Am damn lucky. And sometimes it's nice to point that out. Perhaps especially when I'm underslept and stressed from work and the insufficiency of direct light.
wispfox: (curled kitty)
Watching other people have to put a cat to sleep hurts, both in sympathy for them and in memory for me.
wispfox: (curled kitty)
Watching other people have to put a cat to sleep hurts, both in sympathy for them and in memory for me.
wispfox: (Default)
Why yes, I _am_ a gang-upper oner in appropriate context. And I like making up words.
wispfox: (Default)
Why yes, I _am_ a gang-upper oner in appropriate context. And I like making up words.
wispfox: (Default)
I am, at this point, literally breathless from laughter.

Why, you might ask?

Because this post is filled with very silly people. Very, very silly people.

All I have to say is... "On fire! In June! With much wanderlust!"
wispfox: (Default)
I am, at this point, literally breathless from laughter.

Why, you might ask?

Because this post is filled with very silly people. Very, very silly people.

All I have to say is... "On fire! In June! With much wanderlust!"
wispfox: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] ladytabitha notes that the corollary to "communicate, communicate, communicate" should be "pay attention!".

And yes, I _do_ realize that people (myself included) have trouble with body language. I feel like even in those cases, there is still other information than words. Perhaps, things like people suddenly getting quiet, or not being as chatty as normal, or something. Behaving differently than normal, vs. body language signals. And yes, sometimes the reason for strange behavior is because someone is feeling unwell; that's still something that's useful to know, because - if nothing else - people who don't feel well tend to want different things than when they do feel well.

Of course, my next corollary now wants to be "if someone close to you asks if you're ok, take a moment to see if you can figure out why they are asking, before replying". I mostly note this one because I've run into too many people who say they are fine when they are not, and obviously not. And I do understand automatic responses, as I might answer automatically before answering for real, depending on my distraction levels.

As with everything, it's about doing the best you can, not about being perfect in your ability to communicate.

Of course, in my head, paying attention to cues which may not be words is part of communicating. Communication should be using all input available, and not just a subset. I will note that I strongly prefer verbal communication to confirm the things I'm picking up through other methods. Largely because, for me at least, the other methods are more vague and abstract, and have too many possible meanings. Words can and often do, as well, but they are easier (for me) to use to home in on something.
wispfox: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] ladytabitha notes that the corollary to "communicate, communicate, communicate" should be "pay attention!".

And yes, I _do_ realize that people (myself included) have trouble with body language. I feel like even in those cases, there is still other information than words. Perhaps, things like people suddenly getting quiet, or not being as chatty as normal, or something. Behaving differently than normal, vs. body language signals. And yes, sometimes the reason for strange behavior is because someone is feeling unwell; that's still something that's useful to know, because - if nothing else - people who don't feel well tend to want different things than when they do feel well.

Of course, my next corollary now wants to be "if someone close to you asks if you're ok, take a moment to see if you can figure out why they are asking, before replying". I mostly note this one because I've run into too many people who say they are fine when they are not, and obviously not. And I do understand automatic responses, as I might answer automatically before answering for real, depending on my distraction levels.

As with everything, it's about doing the best you can, not about being perfect in your ability to communicate.

Of course, in my head, paying attention to cues which may not be words is part of communicating. Communication should be using all input available, and not just a subset. I will note that I strongly prefer verbal communication to confirm the things I'm picking up through other methods. Largely because, for me at least, the other methods are more vague and abstract, and have too many possible meanings. Words can and often do, as well, but they are easier (for me) to use to home in on something.
wispfox: (Default)
Via [livejournal.com profile] ladytabitha, Folksongs Are Your Friends.

To the pop quiz at the end... D! D, dammit! (because I can, and because it's delightfully random)
wispfox: (Default)
Via [livejournal.com profile] ladytabitha, Folksongs Are Your Friends.

To the pop quiz at the end... D! D, dammit! (because I can, and because it's delightfully random)

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