wispfox: (Default)
Yay, not sick. And hey, a reset on how much food I eat isn't all bad, either.

Unfortunately, winter decided to remind me that hey, I am still seasonally depressed, even if it is mostly under control. Similarly unfortunately, I have still not found a useful replacement for the uppers source that was World of Warcraft for me for years. I am displeased that this appears to translate to trying to find tasty things to put into my mouth, even if I am not hungry. Need WoW replacement!

School back in session. Did not make short list for PhD program at Brandeis, which means that I shall need to find a job in the psych research field for a year when I finish my masters, then figure out where I can and should apply to. On the plus side, if I manage to find a job in the field, I will have more flexibility to handle the possibility that the places I wish to apply to are not at the time accepting PhD students. Also, the possibility that where I do find to apply does not accept me.

Even so, though. Tired of applying. Tired of having to figure out what I'm doing every damn year, and applying to schools every year.

Less down than I was, though, thanks to time with [livejournal.com profile] metahacker tonight.
wispfox: (Default)
+++++It's _gorgeous_ out.

+++++I'm sleeping.

+++++Let me repeat that one. I'm sleeping.

++[livejournal.com profile] metahacker's suggestion of liquid pepto-bismo appears to be helping with the acid problems from the sleeping meds.

?So does eating enough, but I worry that I'll eat too much in order to not have acid problems. (this med has weight gain as a potential side effect. I wonder if preventing acid problems is why!)

+It's not February.

+There was a random person walking on the side of the road on my way into work with _gorgeous_ long hair.

-acid problems

-I'm still seasonally affected, though it may not be february, and I keep forgetting this (I hate transition states).

Various

Nov. 10th, 2009 02:19 pm
wispfox: (Default)
Did you know that the two migraine preventative meds that my PCP first thinks of are, respectively, an anti-depressant and a depressant? This is less than useful when I'm already _on_ an anti-depressant! She will do additional investigation to find something for me.

Potassium levels _very slightly_ high.

"Good" cholesterol is high, thereby increasing my overall cholesterol. "Bad" cholesterol is only very slightly high, though. (this is as per normal for my family, so I'm glad that I didn't have to ask her to look at that rather than assuming that high cholesterol was automatically bad)

I have no idea if my slight increase in anti-depressant meds is helping. I suspect that it is, though. I don't feel much worse than a month ago, and I normally would be, I think. However, I suspect that my psychiatrist'll want to increase it more, since not being depressed at _all_ would be good (if annoyingly variable a medication dose depending on season!).

My head hurts. And I'm so tired of being congested every winter. On the plus side, it's not the near constant weird migraine of mine. Just often, instead of always. And still always true when I'm lying down (as is a dizzy side-effect when I lie down or get up). Mrf. (sleeping with a nasty headache is difficult, I note)

Tired. Approaching first school application deadline at the beginning of next month. And then there's three due in early and mid January. And then one in March (go figure). I may be slightly insane in December, due to those three in January.

I keep having to pester my former boss to finish my school recommendations. He claims this week. We'll see.

My self-contained shrimpies have died. Is sad.

I have apple pie. It will be my mid-afternoon snack. (nom nom nom!)
wispfox: (Default)
So, I have no idea what I had last week, but it was _not_ fun.

While I suppose it's nice to have had the amount of food that I eat per meal reset, as I'd been having a difficult time figuring out where 'sufficient' actually was, I prefer to not have had this occur because I was nauseous every time I ate anything for most of a week. Also, a couple degrees of fever is far less entertaining when I don't get to have wacky dreams and instead they are all just disturbing or upsetting. Rude!

But also, the ativan had stopped having an effect that was sufficient to keep taking it, as I was taking forever to fall asleep. It was probably still causing me to sleep more deeply, though. But anyway, this means I've not taken it for a bit over a week, in the hopes of getting un-acclimated to it, and being able to return to the original reason that I first took it: to break cycles of not sleeping. This does, however, mean I cannot fall asleep before midnight, even if I go to bed at 10 (I think I'm going to go to bed at 11, so I spend less time irritated by failing to sleep, although I may change back if it turns out that I take 2 hours to fall asleep no matter what. I don't recall where normal was, for this, although I do recall that 11p was previously my bedtime in summer), that I have strange dreams and wake up every 1-2 hours all night because I'm sleeping that lightly, and that I'm awake earlier than I would prefer except when I was sick last week.

I did not actually _want_ to return to my previous-to-ativan difficulties with sleep, but oh well.

So I'm going to be constantly exhausted (not just tired, like had been usual), and will be driving as minimally as I can, because I'm not... entirely alert enough to be driving. On the plus side, I can take the bus to therapy!

*fuzzy brained*
wispfox: (Default)
I am strangely pleased by the fact that J-with-no-LJ could tell that I'm exercising (swimming, specifically) with some regularity, while giving me a massage Sunday.

Because there is unfortunately no easy way for _me_ to tell, and her mentioning it helps so much with having initiative to _do_ it.

*develops muscles*

I need achievements IRL for my swimming! I want the 'ding!', dammit! ;)

(now if my wrists would just stop complaining again, I'd be much happier; I don't like having had to return to taking anti-inflams and icing and goo'ing recently!)
wispfox: (Default)
My digestion, it is perplexed. To the point of wondering if I'm eating too much of something (too much soy can have this effect, although soy can't be the culpret at the moment). My only guess is peanuts, although I hope not.

Now, to not have peanuts for a week and see what happens.

(at least it's generally 'too much of a thing', not 'this thing is immediately problematic')
wispfox: (Default)
Less prickly than I was... but the amount of time that I take to get prickly again is rather disturbing. Ah, February.

Constantly running toilet is driving me batty, also!

Ok, time to convince myself that sleep is good.

(and hopefully, to convince my intestines that they really need to be cooperating better, considering how much fiber I'm giving them. Also, ow. Perhaps I need to take the IBS meds, in winter)
wispfox: (Default)
Less prickly than I was... but the amount of time that I take to get prickly again is rather disturbing. Ah, February.

Constantly running toilet is driving me batty, also!

Ok, time to convince myself that sleep is good.

(and hopefully, to convince my intestines that they really need to be cooperating better, considering how much fiber I'm giving them. Also, ow. Perhaps I need to take the IBS meds, in winter)
wispfox: (Default)
Coherent, I am not today.

[livejournal.com profile] naamah_darling is more coherent, and says The Bush administration officially proposes conscience rule for doctors who don't want to do their fucking jobs, and "There are no provisions for assisting women who have been denied -- none. No statement that a doctor must help the woman find another doctor who will help her. No offers to help with transportation, should a woman need to go to a different city to get help. Nothing. We get nothing. We are their patients and we are not only being put behind our employees' consciences, we are being left with nothing as recourse" among other things.

It's in a 30 day public comment period.

please comment. Or donate to Planned Parenthood.
wispfox: (Default)
Coherent, I am not today.

[livejournal.com profile] naamah_darling is more coherent, and says The Bush administration officially proposes conscience rule for doctors who don't want to do their fucking jobs, and "There are no provisions for assisting women who have been denied -- none. No statement that a doctor must help the woman find another doctor who will help her. No offers to help with transportation, should a woman need to go to a different city to get help. Nothing. We get nothing. We are their patients and we are not only being put behind our employees' consciences, we are being left with nothing as recourse" among other things.

It's in a 30 day public comment period.

please comment. Or donate to Planned Parenthood.
wispfox: (exhausted)
Y'know, if I had to pick a weekend to have a stomach bug, this would have been it. Very few committments.

And I'm really glad that my body doesn't tend to have serious digestive ailments. Because otherwise the fact that I largely do not throw up would really, really suck.

But I would like to stop with the touchy digestion soon, please. And stop being so _tired_, and needing to drink improvised gatorade.

Oddly, I have focus, so could (until a minute ago when my brain said I was Done) actually get homework stuff done. Apparently, though, I'm leaving my reading about use of CRAN-R for some other time. And napping now.
wispfox: (exhausted)
Y'know, if I had to pick a weekend to have a stomach bug, this would have been it. Very few committments.

And I'm really glad that my body doesn't tend to have serious digestive ailments. Because otherwise the fact that I largely do not throw up would really, really suck.

But I would like to stop with the touchy digestion soon, please. And stop being so _tired_, and needing to drink improvised gatorade.

Oddly, I have focus, so could (until a minute ago when my brain said I was Done) actually get homework stuff done. Apparently, though, I'm leaving my reading about use of CRAN-R for some other time. And napping now.
wispfox: (Default)
I'm actually having what appear to be allergies this spring.

Astounding!

And, when I forget to take something, headachy and confusing (because headaches, with hunger, tend to mean that my blood sugar is absurdly low and I Need Food Now).

_Busy_ first week of class. Damn! Also, busy work. Yeep!
wispfox: (Default)
I'm actually having what appear to be allergies this spring.

Astounding!

And, when I forget to take something, headachy and confusing (because headaches, with hunger, tend to mean that my blood sugar is absurdly low and I Need Food Now).

_Busy_ first week of class. Damn! Also, busy work. Yeep!
wispfox: (happy gir)
And, because I refuse to leave my journal in such a down state, especially when I've actually been having much goodness:

Saturday was _gorgeous_ out, as was most of last week. And I got a massage from someone who seems to be clueful about tendinitis. Pulled some dandilions out of part of our yard (may not be my yard due to renting, but I _could_). Went to Psinging Friday night, under my own power, and had no twinges from driving in either direction.

Wandered over to our local YMCA (aout a 30 minute walk each way), and determined that once I have a swim cap, I will get a membership, swim regularly (hopefully getting into a habit before next winter), possibly use the weight room (perhaps with accompanying sweetie so we both go regularly), and possibly take pilates classes.

Good call with [livejournal.com profile] australian_joe Sat night, good snuggles and brunch w/[livejournal.com profile] jasra who I do not see enough of. Good date time with [livejournal.com profile] metahacker, including random Wii use. (it really is oddly entertaining to make random suggestions)

Purriest cat in the world is happy I'm WFH this week, and next week I see the new office location.

Strength work last night plus some massage on [livejournal.com profile] metahacker (it has been _way_ too long since I could do massage for even that long!) plus aforementioned dandilion pulling did not result in unhappy hands, and I'm going to up my weights again next time.

Was able to do random helpful thing for former neighbor, just because I could and he asked.

Can deal with dishes pretty regularly, most of the garbage & recycling most of the time, and sweeping. Can probably do litterbox cleaning more often; will check. Probably cannot vaccuum or rake yet.

Should be fine for taking a summer class online starting end of May. This is Good.

Gaming was fun, if draining, and I found my old character from the last one-shot I did. She was a fun character, and way less draining. :)

Did some tidying of my stuff, and again with the not making my hands sad. Have I mentioned how nice it is to begin to approximate a normal human being again? Still lack driving myself to work regularly, but...

Saw/hugged/chatted with [livejournal.com profile] randysmith, who I do not see enough of!

Slowly managing to force myself to a more sane sleep schedule, which is nice. Being less tired is delightful, as is wasting less of the day.

So. Much goodness. :)
wispfox: (happy gir)
And, because I refuse to leave my journal in such a down state, especially when I've actually been having much goodness:

Saturday was _gorgeous_ out, as was most of last week. And I got a massage from someone who seems to be clueful about tendinitis. Pulled some dandilions out of part of our yard (may not be my yard due to renting, but I _could_). Went to Psinging Friday night, under my own power, and had no twinges from driving in either direction.

Wandered over to our local YMCA (aout a 30 minute walk each way), and determined that once I have a swim cap, I will get a membership, swim regularly (hopefully getting into a habit before next winter), possibly use the weight room (perhaps with accompanying sweetie so we both go regularly), and possibly take pilates classes.

Good call with [livejournal.com profile] australian_joe Sat night, good snuggles and brunch w/[livejournal.com profile] jasra who I do not see enough of. Good date time with [livejournal.com profile] metahacker, including random Wii use. (it really is oddly entertaining to make random suggestions)

Purriest cat in the world is happy I'm WFH this week, and next week I see the new office location.

Strength work last night plus some massage on [livejournal.com profile] metahacker (it has been _way_ too long since I could do massage for even that long!) plus aforementioned dandilion pulling did not result in unhappy hands, and I'm going to up my weights again next time.

Was able to do random helpful thing for former neighbor, just because I could and he asked.

Can deal with dishes pretty regularly, most of the garbage & recycling most of the time, and sweeping. Can probably do litterbox cleaning more often; will check. Probably cannot vaccuum or rake yet.

Should be fine for taking a summer class online starting end of May. This is Good.

Gaming was fun, if draining, and I found my old character from the last one-shot I did. She was a fun character, and way less draining. :)

Did some tidying of my stuff, and again with the not making my hands sad. Have I mentioned how nice it is to begin to approximate a normal human being again? Still lack driving myself to work regularly, but...

Saw/hugged/chatted with [livejournal.com profile] randysmith, who I do not see enough of!

Slowly managing to force myself to a more sane sleep schedule, which is nice. Being less tired is delightful, as is wasting less of the day.

So. Much goodness. :)

Ow.

Oct. 9th, 2007 01:17 pm
wispfox: (blanket kitty)
Ow says my wounds, in reply to my attempting to wear jeans today, instead of something more sweatpants-ish.

Ow says my wrists, in reply to having had to overuse them (instead of give them a break) over the weekend.

Ow says my guts, in reply to the fact that I had bits of me _cut and bleeding_ in order to cause lack of connection between ovaries and uterus. And I have no clue why the right side hurts more (and has since I woke up in the hospital on Friday). Significantly more.

Ow says my back and shoulders, in reply to my _utterly strange_ posture for four days, in order to try to not use my abdonimal muscles, and having trouble with some of my typical stretching methods. Also, in reply to having skipped a massage due to illness. Also in reply to not being allowed to take baths (showers are fine) for 4 weeks. That's a big part of my relaxation methods for my back/shoulders/neck/arms! Very rude. Probably also in reply to drastically reduced walking, due to abdominal wounds.

On the plus side, I successfully removed "There's a hole in my [belly]" from my head. And needed conversation on Saturday happened and went well even through my distinct lack of attention span.

Ok, arm ow wins. Enough typing for the moment.

[eta: and people who were amazingly patient with my _intense crankiness_ Friday and Saturday are very much appreciated. Clearly I handle pain, exhaustion, and being bored with needing to nap all the time very poorly!]

Ow.

Oct. 9th, 2007 01:17 pm
wispfox: (blanket kitty)
Ow says my wounds, in reply to my attempting to wear jeans today, instead of something more sweatpants-ish.

Ow says my wrists, in reply to having had to overuse them (instead of give them a break) over the weekend.

Ow says my guts, in reply to the fact that I had bits of me _cut and bleeding_ in order to cause lack of connection between ovaries and uterus. And I have no clue why the right side hurts more (and has since I woke up in the hospital on Friday). Significantly more.

Ow says my back and shoulders, in reply to my _utterly strange_ posture for four days, in order to try to not use my abdonimal muscles, and having trouble with some of my typical stretching methods. Also, in reply to having skipped a massage due to illness. Also in reply to not being allowed to take baths (showers are fine) for 4 weeks. That's a big part of my relaxation methods for my back/shoulders/neck/arms! Very rude. Probably also in reply to drastically reduced walking, due to abdominal wounds.

On the plus side, I successfully removed "There's a hole in my [belly]" from my head. And needed conversation on Saturday happened and went well even through my distinct lack of attention span.

Ok, arm ow wins. Enough typing for the moment.

[eta: and people who were amazingly patient with my _intense crankiness_ Friday and Saturday are very much appreciated. Clearly I handle pain, exhaustion, and being bored with needing to nap all the time very poorly!]
wispfox: (comfort touch)
First 24 hours _sucked_. Lots. My body was _VERY NOT HAPPY WITH ME_ for the rude invasiveness of Friday plus anesthetic. No stamina whatsoever. And no ability to not be _fucking freezing_. Also, took an extra hour and a half or so to get out of recovery because the first time they tried to have the bed I was on sit me up a bit meant I went completely white, my blood pressure dropped alarmingly, and they laid me back down with oxygen and more IV fluids for a while. (I got _very_ tired, so was not shocked that they said I went white)

Then I was unable to get warm for the entire rest of the day; at most I managed to not be freezing cold. Was very odd. There was a very helpful [livejournal.com profile] randysmith who brought me home from the hospital and kept me company and got me my meds and didn't complain too much about the fact that it was _really hot_ in my apartment and yet I was cold and under billions of layers. Then there was a [livejournal.com profile] chaiya to keep me company and entertain and take care of and feed me. Then there was an [livejournal.com profile] ayalanya to keep me company and entertain and take care of me. There was much lack of knowledge of what to expect from that first 24 hours from the hospital. Bad them!

Second 24 hours was much better than the first, but was still very clearly deficient. Lots of napping. Lots of being annoyed by boredom and needing to nap. Also, I had to use my arms _way_ too much those first 48 hours, because abdominal use caused pain and bleeding. So sad arms/wrists. Had visiting from [livejournal.com profile] galaneia and [livejournal.com profile] metahacker for much of that afternoon and evening, and was thus entertained and snuggled much. Also, I learned that laughing hurt. And that my short-term memory was deficient. Also, I learned that I had very little ability to follow phone conversations (of which there were three that day).

Sunday was mostly ok; pain, yes, but stopped bleeding and could use abdominal muscles more. Bored, though! On the plus side, there was a lending of "A bit of Fry and Laurie" from [livejournal.com profile] galaneia to watch, and laughing no longer hurt. This greatly reduced boredom and wrist use. Wrists are not entirely happy with me today (or yesterday), though.

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